silly · pouts · here · and · there.

There are just somethings that I need to let out. I don't deem her as a friend at all. And yet, I'm still deeply affected by all the silly remarks she makes. Going away from school is perhaps the wisest choice I have made this year. I'm not saying that school's not fun, I guess I just need to clear my head on certain issues. Sometimes I just wonder what's up with her. What's the problem with her attitude. Perhaps the saying still goes: To each their own.

I suppose with only few people knowing my LJ account I guess it's no harm ranting here about her. She is a person who expects everyone. And here I do mean EVERYONE to actually give in to her and be her follower. There is no such thing as a back stage in her life. I'm not a psychology student here, so I'm not going to comment on her psychological issues. In the writing context of a layman, patience for everything has it's limit; as so she had mentioned before during that awfully silly confrontation with me. But here here, no one is perfect. I accept that. I let you go around doing whatever you do. But just don't go around tripping on my toes every now and then. Nah. I take that back. I'll just let you be, if you'll just let me be. I do my stuff, you do your stuff. Done.

I'm being hungry now. Bye.

Enough. Seriously if commenting on flaws of others is what you do, let me tell you, this is never going to end. You may get all the backing in the world, however as long as I'm still here and still stand affirmed to my own choices, this will never end. Can't you get it in your mind that everyone is not perfect. I am annoyed by how you assume every little thing that it is. Ok. Take Darren for example. My life does not only revolve with this one guy. In fact there are so many other guys out there that you have no idea of, and why won't I share my life with you? Simple fact: some of the information will be and is definitely too much for you to handle. Saying I'm immatured. I guess you're no different either. IF you're mature enough, I would definitely share my really deep news with you. I admit fault of me being who and what I was in the past. Which I get has led to you giving a taste of my own medicine. My apologies for that. For now I like that way I am, and am not going to do anything about it. My character traits fit well elsewhere I know that, and I know its a struggle (for me) here in Singapore. Seriously, SG is a crap place with people having too safe a mentality. For now you have just got to deal with whatever you have and decide for youself. Having said that, I know you are still treating me as a friend hence all the naggings. I am also trying to keep afloat hence all the whatever shit I'm doing. Because for this also rather simple concept, people only scold/nag/trash other people whom they view as friends.

I don't use the nicest words to you cos I see no point in sugar coating what I want to convey to you. Sugar coating only applies to people who are on my shallow side of the spectrum. Tragic, I know. Look at it this way, sugar coating is superficial whilst harsh words are honesty and sincerity. Perhaps we have both evolved but to different directions. I do need to see the light in some areas and just let it be. Maybe you have been trying to tell me that meaning but have led me to think otherwise. Well, the strange bitches of life I suppose.

Seriously you are annoying me. Your incessant ramblings about how imperfect I am, how I should start living my life and all those bullshit. Please, I'm not that person still trying to sift my way around life anymore, unlike you still trying to do so. I know my goals in life, I know how to approach guys, I know what I want and what I should do. Enough. You trying to be all giggly and pretentious is just making me nausea. Stop assuming that my life only surrounds those little facts you know about me. If you have not notice, we you and I are already starting to distance from each other. So much so that you seriously don't even know my life status. I refuse to tell you so much because there's no point to it. Your 2 cents worth of everything is just worth the value of 2 cents, nothing more. Your approach on assuming that life is just rose tints is just fine for yourself, but stop pushing it on me. I like mine dark and twisted. And I like it that way with no change to it. No wonder Zed got a little bored that day. You having the mental intellect of a 14 year old is just boring me to tears. I can't seem to hold much intelligent conversations with you and thus the reason of distance. Seriously, at times I do just want to tell you to "go away". I am on the verge of treating you like one of my mere acquaintances. 

Your dressing is horrid and everyone knows it. You may think its gorgeous but it ain't. No one wears leggings like you do anymore. Stop trying to be trendy when your trends just seem so last season.

Well, I'm not that pissed after talking cock with Jason. Before that I was literally yelling into the phone. My sister even got the firing from me. I'm sorry. Now I'm in a rather "sunshine after the storm" mode. I seriously think that this is so over between me and whatever her name is. And I'm pretty happy with that though. Felt like a huge lift from my shoulders. Seriously the rest can just keep her. I really don't care. Planning next sem on my own, rather with Jo.

I'm not a superficial person to begin with. That's why I'm so cautious and defensive. I guess that's both my short-comings and good points as well. Well, the saying does go that there are 2 sides of a coin though. So I guess that's why its hard for me to make fast friends but easy for me to maintain close ones. Well, she just happens to be the type of person who makes fast friends but breaks them even faster. Well, I can't be that person who goes to that level to make friends. I'm just not like that. If you're a friend of Zelda, you're probably a friend for life! Just look at Marilyn, Zulia and Elaine. Though we have our differences, we just move on with life pretty ok. I still love my girlies! I'm not going to privatize this entry because I feel that in any way I have not done any defamation to that person, and if this person feels that I hit the nail and well, cause some emotional strain (I don't know); then that's just too bad. Hey, this is the first time that after I roared at someone, I feel relieved and at peace. Ususally it takes me almost a day to recover. I suppose that's just good news to hear then.